in the midst

Dang. I’m almost completely finished with my spring semester back at Stout, and I haven’t even thought of blogging at all so far – it’s just been super busy!

I have class at 8am every day, which I thought would kill me like it did sophomore year, but it hasn’t been too awful since I’m part-time, taking 3 classes this semester (one is a quarter stats class and so far I’ve been doing pretty well). I’m in my Interiors Studio 2, and Construction Documentation. Neither are very difficult as they are just SO much work.

I’ve had a really great time working on all the different projects for my classes, and I was especially proud of my Studio 2 midterm project! The project was to design a commercial office space for a small graphic design firm. I inserted a PDF of my final project’s presentation boards, which has ALL the information you need to understand my concept and solutions.

Final Boards

This semester has been a wild ride in a very different way than Italy was, I’ve experienced some pretty intense anxiety. I had a panic attack on campus because of how stressed and overwhelmed I was with all I had going on.

One week this semester (the most memorable for sure), I had a few major things happen: I was chosen to be one of the 15 students that were going to have their work reviewed by a few interior design professionals from the firm BWBR in Minneapolis. The BWBR Prize competition is a huge honor, and I can put that I was a semifinalist on my resume! I had to prepare a 4 minute presentation for them that conveyed all the important information that I wanted to share about my Studio 2 project – that was a task.

I had that figured out, and I also had two major assignments due that week, and on top of that, I worked 40 hours that week. WHAT?? I had a panic attack on campus the day or two before the BWBR Review, so stressed about life that I couldn’t breathe. I called my mom and she talked me off the ledge (the usual lol).

I also had an interview with Pope Architects a few days before that, and I brought my final boards for Studio 2, as well as some of the things I worked on in Italy, and my in-progress construction docs that I’m working on for class and are submitting for redlines (feedback) from the professor.

I left that interview feeling so unsure of how it went, not sure if it went well or not, wishing I had asked more questions, wishing I knew what I was doing. I emailed them some follow-up questions two days afterwards, and found out that they would be making a decision in mid-April (right about now!)

Well, yesterday I got an email from Pope, and they offered me a part-time summer internship with them!! I had literally just prayed two nights ago before I went to sleep asking the Lord to help me figure out this whole internship thing. I hadn’t heard from Henricksen (my other ideal choice) yet, and I just didn’t think I was going to hear anything from Pope at all, and I was getting so discouraged and frustrated with how the process was moving, especially because it seems like everyone else already has an internship or a job!

On top of that, I realized that I hadn’t prayed for a hot minute while I was praying intentionally two nights ago. I have put my relationship and growth in the Lord on hold this semester it seems, just choosing to live my life for myself – and honestly?? SO disappointing. It’s really not it’s all hyped up to be. Don’t worry, I wasn’t doing anything crazy, but I just wasn’t investing any time into my spiritual life and spending my time doing anything meaningful, and it’s been a huge letdown. I can feel my attitude being more and more negative, focusing on what’s going wrong and what I don’t have, compared to what I really do have.

To get that internship offer from Pope yesterday, was just an insane demonstration of love and faithfulness from the Lord to me – when I have completely put that on the backburner. I don’t deserve it, but I’m so thankful for it. Thankful that I believe in a God that genuinely loves and cares for me even when I don’t reciprocate.

In the midst of this crazy semester, living life selfishly, the Lord still proves himself faithful – keeping my old car running well, providing me with enough hours at work (even MORE than I need now!) so that I can pay for my life (and Culver’s too hehe), exciting professional opportunities, etc.

In the midst of my unfaithfulness, He’s faithful.

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