Ladies ladies ladies


I have an announcement: We need to get it together. Let’s take a minute to remind ourselves of the TRUTH.

Halloween is a really depressing thing for me. I’m not into scary things – haunted houses, scary costumes, movies, haunted hayrides or mazes, nope. I would pee my pants and cry and scream the whole time and that’s just not how I want to live my life.

But Halloween is a depressing thing for other reasons too – like the fact that us ladies wear the tiniest costumes ever. I get it, attention and compliments make you feel so great and so confident and like you’re on top of the world.

But. Let’s get real again:

After we take the costumes off, take off the makeup, leave the parties and the friends and crawl into bed to search through the countless photos we took and choose one to post on social media, that’s when the comparisons come. When the judging comes. The double-taps on our Instagram accounts begin to take over our minds and emotions and our confidence and self worth. It’s when we are at our most vulnerable – after we take off the security blankets that once made us feel so great, or the alcohol that was consumed and covered up our insecurities wore off. When we’re laying in bed, our imperfect selves, choosing a filter, editing any red-eye from the flash, blurring out any blemishes – we find ourselves hurting.

I am hurting with you, I am hurting for you, I get it. Even though I may not drink and don’t party – I know how it feels inside to feel like you’re not as pretty/tall/tan/perfect/take-your-pick as your friends. It’s so so hard and such a real pain. Now, it’s much easier said than done, but:


The constant circle of self-loathing and comparison needs to come to an end. The enemy is winning, and is rooting for you to stay in that dark and hopeless state. This just simply cannot be. We can’t let him win! He’s not worth our precious time! We have so many more important things to dwell on than whether or not that girl on Instagram from high school is cuter or has better hair or makeup or shoes or legs or whatever it may be.

Comparing ourselves to each other is the most detrimental thing we can do. It hardens our hearts to the goodness of genuine compliments and genuine happiness, and the joy we can have in knowing our genuine worth. Let’s break the cycle.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Philippians 4:8

I will struggle with comparing myself for the rest of my life. But, that doesn’t mean it has to be my life. It will be a small, not-so-great piece of it.

When I get stuck in the pit of self-comparison, I usually text my mama, because well you know, she’s my mom and basically knows the answers to all my problems <3. When I talked to my mom, she told me to pray about it and just be like “Hey God, yo please help a sista out and help me to catch myself in comparison, and to stop this nonsense” (okay that’s definitely my interpretation of her much more eloquent words, but you get the idea).

It really does make a difference.

So, instead of dwelling on the things that make us human, let’s think about the things that make God who He is. Some of my favorite ways to remind myself of how much more He is than I am are:

  • Going stargazing – thinking about how insane it is that God created this entire world and universe and all those beautiful stars that we can look at.
  • Catching a good sunrise or sunset – Seeing an amazingly beautiful sunrise in the morning always makes me stop and count my blessings – the sunrise being one of them.
  • Listening to some good worship music – Usually I pick Starfield’s song “The Kingdom,” Needtobreathe’s “Multiplied,” or Evolution Worship’s “Unstoppable God” because they make me feel all warm-fuzzy inside.
  • Coloring – I love to color, I also really love to make things for people. I like to do the modern calligraphy art for people and pick good encouraging bible verses for them, which in turn always helps me to feel better.

God didn’t create us to struggle with these things alone either. Reach out to someone close that you trust and know that will be there to support you and pray for you and encourage you during these times! Life is so hard, don’t make it harder on yourself by trying to handle it on your own.

Bringing things into the light means that the enemy can’t have power over them anymore. You’ve got the power.


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